‘You know it’s been a shit night when you crawl in through the window and the only dry clothes you’re wearing are your knickers.’

You stood me up, you cock,
you stood me up in the pouring rain.
You stood me up, you cock,
under neon lights in a state of shock.
Crying, shaking, worried sick,
but I forgive you now, you prick.
Though you fucking stood me up, you cock,
in the pissing, pouring rain.

You locked me out, you twat,
you locked me out in the pouring rain.
You locked me out, you twat,
like some mangy half-forgotten cat.
Fucked on weed and fucked on wine,
but I forgive you, one more time.
Though you locked me out, you fucking twat,
in the pissing, pouring rain.

You broke my heart, you cunt,
you broke my heart in the pouring rain.
You broke my heart, you cunt,
you fucked up, clueless, little runt.
But I forgive you, just relax,
while I fuck your brains out with an axe.
You broke my fucking heart, you cunt,
and you won’t do that again.